If you kiss her, you are not
a gentleman
If you don't, you are not a
man
If you praise her, she
thinks you are lying
If you don't, you are good
for nothing
If you agree to all her
likes, you are a wimp
If you don't, you are not
understanding
If you visit her often, she
thinks it is boring
If you don't, she accuses
you of double-crossing
If you are well dressed, she
says you are a playboy
If you don't, you are a dull
boy
If you are jealous, she says
it's bad
If you don't, she thinks you
do not love her
If you attempt a romance,
she says you didn't respect her
If you don't, she thinks you
do not like her
If you are a minute late,
she complains it's hard to wait
If she is late, she says
that's a girl's way
If you visit another man,
you're not putting in "quality time"
If she is visited by another
woman, "oh it's natural, we are girls"
If you kiss her once in a
while, she professes you are cold
If you kiss her often, she
yells that you are taking advantage
If you fail to help her in
crossing the street, you lack ethics
If you do, she thinks it's
just one of men's tactics for seduction
If you stare at another
woman, she accuses you of flirting
If she is starred by other
men, she says that they are just admiring
If you talk, she wants you
to listen
If you listen, she wants you
to talk
In short:
So simple, yet so complex
So weak, yet so powerful
So confusing, yet so
desirable
So damning, yet so wonderful...
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