Thursday, 26 September 2013

What makes a relationship work?


 
ONE:               A hug everyday causes better bonding than words.
TWO:           Never humiliate your partner between friends, it can become a habit and cause things to end sooner than you expect.
THREE:        Watch how you treat your man/woman; it will be how they start to treat you in the end.
FOUR:          When you say, "I Love you", mean it.
FIVE:            When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye.
SIX:              Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN:         After love making hold your partner and talk - it is the best time to speak your mind.
EIGHT:         If your lover was fun before and loses it, then you are not the inspiration you used to be.  Try to be that way again!
NINE:           Love deeply and passionately.  You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN:            In disagreements, fight fairly.  No name calling.
ELEVEN:       Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE:      When you are in a serious relationship, never use the word mine, but OURS, it is the best way to express how you feel about the person.
THIRTEEN:   Never treat others better than your lover, others won't always be there to treat you the same.
FOURTEEN:  Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN:      When you have cheated before, watch how you treat your partner afterwards; those wounds take long to heal.
SIXTEEN:      Never allow money to get between love, it is the route to evil.  Money can't buy love!
SEVENTEEN: Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN:   Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN:   When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY:     Smile when picking up the phone.  The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY TWO:       Don't let someone you love ever feel you would never commit to them.
TWENTY THREE:    If the person you love changes, ask yourself why?
TWENTY FOUR:      Watch how you speak to your lover in company, it is how they will treat you thereafter.
TWENTY FIVE:       Love does not need material things to hold things together; it needs a hug, a kiss and tons of respect.  Without these it will never last.
TWENTY SIX:         Tell someone you love them at least once a day.
TWENTY SEVEN:    Do something with your lover that will make them happy, and don't always expect them to do things that makes you happy.
TWENTY EIGHT:     If there is something you can do that makes your lover laugh every time you do it, then do it quite often.
TWENTY NINE:       Kiss your partner every time you leave for somewhere without him/her, and every time you see them again, even if you go somewhere for just ten minutes, you never know if it will be the last time you see him/her.
THIRTY:                 Always hold your partner once in a while, while you are amongst people, it is the best way you will ever let them feel secure and wanted.
THIRTY ONE:         Never shout or insult your partner in a company, it will make them start to hate you.
THIRTY TWO:         Have sex at least four times a week; it keeps the spark glowing for much longer.
THIRTY THREE:      Never be selfish during sex, if the other has not been satisfied, make time for it or else the person will begin feeling used.
THIRTY FOUR:       A man can only be called that if he knows how to treat his woman.
THIRTY FIVE:         A woman should always see that things are always comfortable for a man when he gets home and when he wakes up.
THIRTY SIX:           Men!  If you want to know whether a woman would make a good wife, then look to see if she makes a good house-wife.
THIRTY SEVEN:      There are three steps in a relationship, 1-falling in love, 2-being in love, 3-loving unconditionally.
THIRTY EIGHT:       If you find a good woman, marry her.  Someone else might be looking for her.
THIRTY NINE:         If you find a good man, care for him.  Many are hunting him down.

FORTY:                  Spend at least two days of the month in bed all day, just making love.  And find at least one day in the month to talk about your future.

Thursday, 19 September 2013

Joke of the day.

Son and Dad Letters 

Dear Dad,

$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love,
Your $on.


Dear Son,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love,
Dad.

Hahaha! Genius.

Back in the days. Where were you?



HOW TO STAY Happy and young

TODAY'S INSPIRATION

 HOW TO
STAY Happy and young:

 1. Throw out non-essential numbers.
This includes age, weight, and height.
Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.

 2. Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down.
(Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches!)

 3. Keep learning:
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever.
 Never let the brain get idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop."
 And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!

4. Enjoy the simple things

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with her/him.


6. The tears happen: 

Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is our self.  LIVE while you are alive.

 7. Surround yourself with what you love:
Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
 Your home is your refuge.

 8. Cherish your health: 

If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it.
 If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

 9. Don't take guilt trips.
Take a trip to the mall, even to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.


10. Tell the people you love, that you love them - at every opportunity. 

What you choose...

What you choose
You can make it happen when you truly choose to do so. You always have, and you always will.
If something is important enough to you, you'll surely find a way. Look back on your life up to this point, and you'll see a manifestation of what you've cared most about.

Now take a look at what you care most about in this very moment. Those are the things you will give your energy and attention to, and those are the things that will surely happen for you.

You are plenty capable of pushing yourself relentlessly toward what you choose. For you do it every day and you've had a lifetime of practice.

The big question is this. What exactly do you choose?


Whatever it is, whatever you truly care about in your heart of hearts, you'll find a way to make it real.
With that in mind, always choose the very best you can imagine. 

FINDING AND KEEPING A LIFE PARTNER

 Golden rules for finding your life partner by Dov Heller, M.A

When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr. /Miss. Right!

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say:
"We're in love". I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love.

Though this may sound "not politically correct", there's a profound truth here. Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: 
"You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone". You need a lot more!!!

Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.

 QUESTION 1: Do we share a common life purpose?
 Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.

 Two things can happen in a marriage:
 (1) You can grow together, or
 (2) You can grow apart.
 50% of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life! Bottom line; and marry someone who wants the same thing.

QUESTION 2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?
This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won't get "punished"; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION 3: Is he/she a mensch?
A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions.
Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis?
Are they serious about improving themselves?
A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right ". So ask your significant other what do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.

There are essentially two types of people in the world:
(1) People who are dedicated to personal growth, and
(2) People who are dedicated to seeking comfort.
Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION 4:  How does he/she treat other people?
The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.
Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed?
To measure this, think about the following:
How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc.
How do they treat their parents and siblings?
Do they have gratitude and appreciation? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything; can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly will eventually treat you poorly as well.
   
QUESTION 5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?
Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve" them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it, "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse". If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.

In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; so be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework.

Another perspective....

 There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance....

 It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere relationships.

Observe the relationships around you.
Pay attention....Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know, or appreciate you?

The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.

An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye". Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let:
lust,
pity,
desperation,
immaturity,
ignorance,
pressure
- from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important.

Do you bring out the best in each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?

You can't take someone to the altar to alter them. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.

If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life"; you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain.
Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.

 WHAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP STRONG ARE:
       1. TRUST
       2. COMMUNICATION
       3. INTIMACY
       4. A SENSE OF HUMOR
       5. SHARING TASKS
       6. SOME GETAWAY TIME WITHOUT BUSINESS OR CHILDREN
       7. DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes)
       8. SHARING COMMON GOALS AND INTERESTS
       9. GIVING EACH OTHER A SENSE OF BELONGING AND ASSURANCES OF COMMITMENT

 If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment withdrawal, abuse, neglect, and dishonesty; and pain will replace it.

Where are you Headed in life?



Be financially wise.


Wednesday, 18 September 2013

Joke of the day.

The two loaded gentlemen stood at the bar near closing time.

"I've an idea." said one, "lesh have one more drink and then go find us shum girls,"

"Naw," replied the other. "I've got more than I can handle at home."


"Great ! " replied the idea man, " then lesh have one more drink and go up to your place,"

My Shoes


  1. Never give up on your dreams. Work smart, stay humble, and surround yourself with good & positive people.

  1. God works in mysterious ways. Just keep the faith & ya success might be round the corner.
  1. To those feeling down n' out. It's never too late to start afresh. Give it another shot. Just don't give up. Keep the faith.

Tuesday, 17 September 2013

nthabisengwrites: I have These Holes

nthabisengwrites: I have These Holes: I have These Holes Last night my sadness woke me up and I sobbed uncontrollably The world was sleeping. I was alone! So I turn...